Look Now, Before It's Too Late
by HaiImCourtney13
Summary: There's a new member on the Avengers. He's locked up, deep inside himself. Can the rest of the team figure out why he's the way he is, before he does something bad? Hawkeye/Captain America. It's AU. My own version, of what I wish Hawkeye's past was. I don't own the Avengers, sadly. R&R ? :3 M for M/M Slash later on, self-harm, abuse, language.
1. Chapter 1

**Hai guise. It's Courtney. Aaaaaaand, this is my first Stint fanfic.**

**My first fanfic on this account.**  
**Omg but no.**  
**I know, it's nowhere NEAR to what Hawkeye's real childhood was, but, it's AU. Leave me**  
**alone. I think it's clever.**  
**And awesome.**  
**And perfect.**  
**LOL JK.**  
**But seriously.**  
**I hope you guise like itttttt**

* * *

**Chapter One**

* * *

I followed the tall, buff, blonde man in a blue shirt and red basketball shorts into the top floor in Stark Towers to meet the other Avengers. I fidgeted with my sleeves as he cleared his throat.

"Avengers. We have a new member." They all looked up at me and I felt myself tense up and start to get nervous. I scanned the room. There was a red-headed woman sitting on top of a counter, an attractive man behind the counter mixing drinks, and two men on the couch. One was dark haired, reading a book, and the other had blonde hair and was rather large. The man I followed, Captain America, pointed at the girl.

"That's Natasha Romanoff, better known as Black Widow. She's an assassin, deadly. One of the best, Do NOT get on her bad side." She smirked and wiggled her fingers, waving smally. I relaxed a little. Only a little.

"I'm the amazing Tony Stark, or, as I'm better known, Iron Man," said the man behind the bar, popping up from beneath it with a bottle of whiskey. Natasha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Could you be any cockier?" He pushed her off the countertop.

"Yes, I could. And get your poisonous ass off my counter." The tall blonde man stared to laugh, and loud thunderous laugh.

"I am Thor, the demigod of Thunder!" I smiled. They aren't so bad, except for Tony. He's weird. He kept eyeing me, I wasn't very...okay with that. The dark-haired man was sitting next to him, to engrossed in his book to care.

"That's Bruce Banner, aka, The 'Incredible' Hulk, you know, the big green guy?" Tony said, making air quotes around 'incredible,' and rolling his eyes. I nodded slowly, knowing I could easily remember their names. "Well kid, what's your name?" He asked me, taking a step closer, his eyes darkening with lust. I backed away, inching closer to Captain.

"C-Clint Barton. Or Hawkeye." I spoke quietly, looking at the ground. I could feel Natasha looking at me. I looked up and she licked her lips. I could feel the pink spread across my face.

"Come on, Clint. I'm gonna show you around Stark Towers," Captain said, gently gripping my shoulder. I nodded. I still don't know his real name, and I couldn't wait to get away from Tony.

"O-Okay." I followed him out of the room, and I could feel Natasha and Tony staring at my ass. We walked into the elevator, and I heard a voice speak.

_"Where to, sir?"_

"Ahh, Jarvis. Hold on a moment." He looked down at me. I pushed my sleeves down, covering my wrists. "Clint, where do you want to go first?"

"Didn't you say there was a pool?" He smiled at me.

"Yes, I did. to the pool, Jarvis."

_"Right away sir."_

* * *

***Three Hours Earlier; Captain's POV***

* * *

_"Mr. Rodgers, the new recruit is here,"_ Jarvis said, popping me out of my thoughts.

"Thank you, Jarvis." I stood and headed towards the elevator. "To the SHIELD Labs, please."

_"Right away, sir."_ I stood quietly in the elevator, waiting for it to reach the SHIELD Labs. When the elevator doors opened, I noticed a small boy in the training room; he looked about 24 years old, like he's fresh out of college. He had sandy blonde hair, spiked into a faux- hawk, but it didn't look over-gelled. It looked soft and feathery. He had bright blue eyes and a tan face. He was muscular, but not buff. He was absolutely gorgeous. I watched him as he pulled an arrow out of his quiver and drew it. He let go, easily hitting his target.

"Jarvis.." I said quietly, eyeing him.

_"Yes sir?"_

"Prepare his room to be next to mine."

_"Yes sir."_ I looked at him, the way he stared intently at the target was...Mesmerizing. He looked at me just then through the glass, our eyes meeting. He blushed profusely and I smiled.

"Ah, Captain, you're here!" Agent Fox said, coming up to me. This is Clint Barton, or, his CIA name, Hawkeye. He's a master archer, deadly assassin, and he, obviously, was trained by the CIA."

"How did the CIA find him?" The agent shrugged.

"Dunno. He asked the CIA to not tell us. He said he'd tell when he was ready. He's very.. locked inside of himself." I nodded, staring at him and he retrieved his arrows.

"Take me to him." Fox nodded and i followed him into the training room.

"Clint. This is Captain America, leader of The Avengers."

"H-Hello, Captain."

"Hello Clint. You're good. Fantastic, in fact." He smiled and blushed.

"Th-Thank you, sir." _He's very bashful. Cute,_ I thought.

"We could use someone like you. How would you like to be in The Avengers? It's your choice, of course. You're elite, precise, and great at what you do."

"Uhm..s-sure, I guess," he said, smiling a little bit. I got a better look at him. He wore a long sleeve dark purple shirt with the sleeves pushed up, dark acid washed jeans and all black converse. I looked down at his arms. His wrists looked dark with scars...He noticed me looking and he quickly, yet very nonchalantly put them behind his back. I'd have to ask him about it..

"Shall we go meet the team?" I asked, and we left the Training Room and headed for the elevator.

"Sure, I guess." He followed me into the elevator.

"Top floor of the Tower, please, Jarvis."

_"Certainly, sir."_ I looked over at him as the doors closed.

"And just a warning. Tony Stark is an asshole playboy. Stay away from him."


	2. Chapter 2

**Heeeyyy guise. I've been editing and reediting everything. So the chapters are pretty off until I finish editing. I hope you guys like ittttt :)  
My computer has been doing some really retarded stuff, like, no lie.  
Idk whats going on with it -_-  
I have been changing this chapter a lot and this is a re-do.  
I hope you like. :)**

**Lots of Love,  
****Courtney :)**

* * *

***Third Person POV; Top Floor of the Tower after Stint leaves***

* * *

"So Hawkeye, he's pretty attractive," Stark said, nudging Natasha. She rolled her eyes and shoved him.

"Your point? I can't be with him. Dating a teammate is dangerous, Stark.."

"But fucking a teammate isn't."

"Stark, why don't you go for him?" Bruce said, speaking up.

"I'd fuck him," Stark said, taking a drink of his whiskey.

"You would have relations with anything that moved, Tony," Thor said, laughing. Stark and Natasha laughed as well.

"Who cares? That kid is one hot piece of ass, I would destroy him."

"Stark, stop talking about him like that. He's new. Don't scare him off. Plus you're being disrespectful. You don't even know him," Natasha said, crossing her arms.

"Tash, when have I cared?" He asked cockily, taking another drink of his whiskey.

But he should've cared. Little did they know, Jarvis was letting Captain and Clint hear everything...

* * *

***Back to Clint's POV; In the pool room***

* * *

_"Who cares? That kid is one hot piece of ass, I would destroy him."_ I blushed as Jarvis was letting us hear what they were saying about me, upon Captain's request.

"C-Captain?!" He was slack-jawed at Tony's words. I blushed and tugged on my sleeves.

"I'll-I'll talk to him. Clint, don't worry." I sat down on the floor, pulling my shoes and socks off and rolling my pants up. I stuck my feet in the pool and sighed.

"Thanks, Cap. Can...Can I call you Cap?"

"Of course." He came over and sat down next to me, making my heart beat a little faster. I tried to will the thought of him out of my mind._ You're straight, Clint. You like girls, remember?_ I thought to myself. He leaned back on his arms, and looked at the ceiling. I kicked my feet and looked at him.

"Hey cap?"

"Hmm?"

"What's your real name?" He opened his eyes and looked at me.

"...What's your real name?" I laughed softly.

"You know mine, Cap."

"I know. I'll tell you my name on one condition." I froze.

"Wh-What...what condition?"

"Tell me something about your past."

"My dad died when I was six. There you go." I just got as fast as I could, but, unfortunately, Captain is faster. He grabbed my arm.

"Clint, you know that's not what I meant." I pulled out of his grip.

"Yeah, but, I don't like talking about my past, Captain, sorry." He went to touch my shoulder and I jerked away as fast as I could.

"Clint-"

"Please don't touch me!" I yelled, tears welling in my eyes. I blinked them away.

"Clint, please, sit down and relax. You don't have to tell me anything." I took a deep breathe and held my head, rocking back and forth.

"Captain, don't-don't let him touch me, please.." I muttered.

"Don't let who touch you?"

"H-HIM.."

* * *

***Flashback***

* * *

_"Daddy? Daddy, what's going on?" I yelled. I was 6, and my dad had just been shot._

_"Clint, come here, hurry." I ran over to him, scared._

_"Daddy? Are you okay?"_

_"Daddy's...Daddy's going away, for awhile.." he said, tears in his eyes. "Up in Daddy's room,_ _under his bed, is a bow and arrows. Go get that. It's for you."_

_"Daddy, where are you going?!"_

_"Clint, get away from him!" My mother yelled, the ambulance pulling up. I ran to her and_ _cried as they picked my father up and placed him on the stretcher. I ran into my house and_ _up the stairs to my father's room, and looked under the bed. The bow and arrows was right_ _there. I snatched them and hid them in my closet._

_"I love you Daddy," I whispered, looking out the window and watching the ambulence speed_ _away; watching my mother drop to the ground on her knees; watch all the people outside. I_ _decided right then and there, that I would use the bow and arrows, just for my father._

* * *

***Flashback over***

* * *

I felt tears streaming down my face and Captain rubbing my back.

"Wh-What just happened?"

"You...you told me about your dad.." He wiped his eyes; there were tears in them.

"I-I'm sorry for bothering you with this, I didn't mean-"

"Clint, relax."

"It's hard to talk about my past, Cap.."

"Steve." I looked at him questioningly.

"Er...Steve?"

"That's my name. Steve." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. I felt a little rush of happiness surge through me. I shook my head and quickly got rid of that._ He's probably not even gay, I thought. N-Neither am I though, so, it doesn't really matter, _I thought.

"Oh...Steve," I said, smiling at him.

"Yes. Clint, if you need to talk, do not hesitate to knock on my door. It's always open. And if it's not...knock." He smiled and stood up.

"Thank you, Capt- Steve," I said, correcting myself. He looks like a Steve..


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guiseeee, It's me :) Chapter Three, here we are. It's gonna be a war, between Steve, Tasha, and Stark for Barton...this should get interesting...xD  
Haha, buuuttt no. That one follower. Thank you. Someone cares :)  
I understand this story isn't the best, and it won't be, but I'm trying. This is the first story I've written since last June... .-. So just, bear with me.  
Okay I think I'm done.**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :)**

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

"So, Clint, where would you like to see now?" He asked me, his blue eyes sparkling as he grabbed my hand and helped me stand. I pondered for a moment.

"Don't you have like, a gym? Or a workout room?" He flashed his teeth and began to pad away.

"This way," he said, holding the door open for me. He was truly a gentleman. Well, being frozen for so long, he wasn't used to the "New American" ways. He still had his 1940's mannerisms, but I mean, I couldn't complain. It was nice to see someone treat me like a human, and not a toy or a slave, or a freak of nature.

"Thank you," I said, and I could feel the pink tint my cheeks. I followed him out of the room and he led me down the hall.

* * *

***Captain's POV; It's mostly going to be in his and third person this chapter***

* * *

I was leading him down the hallway to the weight room, thoughts racing through my mind. I couldn't help but notice the way he smelled, it was so good. Sexy, masculine. _Delicious,_ I thought. _Damn, I'm starting to sound like Tony now! Stop that, Rogers, get ahold of yourself. You can't let him get into your mind like this. He's not even gay...maybe. But speaking of Tony...I'd have to have a few words with the ignorant prick.._

"Uh...Steve?" I stopped in my tracks, and turned around to see Clint stopped at the door to the weight room. I was so lost in my thoughts that I went right past it.

"My apologies, Clint, I got lost in my thoughts," I said, giggling nervously. He's turning me into a 16-year-old schoolgirl. He walked up to me and smiled wickedly.

"Plotting Stark's death?" I smirked and nodded. "Me too."

"After you," I said, opening the door for him. He smiled. There was a few agents in there working out; Agent Theiss, Agent Mack, and Agent Cooke.

"Hey Captain," Cooke said, putting down his weights and wiping his brow.

"Hello Agents." The other two grunted in response, too engrossed in te excercise to care.

"I see you've met Mr. Barton?" Cooke said, taking a step forward, eyeing Clint flirtatiously. The smaller man took a step behind me. Why are men such pigs today? I mean, they were pigs as well back in the 40's, but not this bad, and they most definitely weren't as obvious with it.

"Yes, in fact, I did." He was tense and shaking. I put my hand on his arm protectively and I noticed he calmed down when I did that. Only a bit.

"How'd you like to come over tonight, huh Agent? We can get to know each other?" He said, winking at Clint and waggling his eyebrows. Clint tensed again but took a step forward. I watched with curiosity, and noticed the other Agents had stopped and were watching as well.

"Sorry, I don't want to get to know you. You're not my type. For one, I like women. For two, I like the human species, not pigs," Clint said darkly. So he's not into men...time to move on...I hid the disappointment in my eyes, but I couldn't help but feel he was lying. Clint's response had raised some oohs from the other two agents, and I smiled slightly, despite myself. Agent Cooke turned bright red and stumbled on his words. I Clint on the back awkwardly and turned to leave.

"Come on, Barton, let's get you settled into your room." He smiled and nodded.

* * *

***Third Person POV; Top Floor of the Tower***

* * *

"Seriously, Tony, shut up about him, fuck!" Natasha said, walking away from Tony with an irritated look on her face.

"You jealous that I'm gonna tap that ass before you will?" He teased.

"Guys, I think Captain with before either of you.." Bruce said, pointing to the monitor. The security camera showed Clint and Steve in the elevator, giggling and talking. Jealousy surged through both Tony and Natasha, their eyes darkening. They all heard the elevator ding and Bruce quickly clicked the monitor off.

"Hey Steve, Clint," Bruce said, waving. Clint waved and sat on the other end of the couch. Steve walked up to Tony.

"Stark, may I have a word, please?" Tony smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Nope," he said arrogantly, a smug look on his face. He looked over at Clint and winked. The archer shifted uncomfortably in his seat and Natasha's eyes grew dark with jealousy.

"Stark, my room, now," Steve said, angrily, teeth clenched.

"Can I bring Agent Barton?" He asked, waggling his eyebrows. Steve clenched his fist.

"Tony, I would listen to Captain if I were you. It'd be in your best interest..." Thor said, cracking his knuckles and grinning.

"Fine," Tony obliged, rolling his eyes. He followed Captain into his room and the door slammed shut. The rest of the Avengers gathered around the monitor, even Clint. He couldn't say he wasn't curious.

"Jarvis, security feed to Captain's room, please," Natasha said.

_"Right away ma'am."_ An image of Tony and Steve popped up onto the screen and Bruce turned the volume up. Clint stared at the screen.

* * *

_"What do you want, Captain," Tony said, sitting on the bed. Steve crossed his arms and squinted his eyes._

_"Stop being so rude and disgusting to Barton."_

_"Make me, I can do what I want." Steven grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up so they were nose to nose. Tony looked at him smugly as the Captain's blue eyes darkened._

_"You make him uncomfortable. He does not like you, Stark. He's not even into guys." Clint blushed as an explosion went off in Natasha's mind and heart. She hid a smile._

_"I don't care. I always get what I want, Rogers. You know that." He pushed the super soldiers chest and knocked the wind out of him. He let go of Tony and the Iron Man walked out of the room. Bruce clicked the monitor off and everyone went into the most unnatural-natural pose they could think of._

_"Not this time you won't," Steve mumbled to himself._


	4. Chapter 4

**Hai guiseeee. Well, I'm just in the mood to update.  
****I dunno how long these chapters are, it seems that they just keep getting longer and longer.  
****I like em loooonnngggg ;)))) Jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjk.  
****Lolol. Anyways. A warning. Description of rape and self harm. If you don't like that. Please. GET AWAY NOW. **

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :)**

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I watched silently as Tony walked out of Steve's room and the others snickered to themselves. Steve was soon to follow, avoiding eye contact with everyone, even me. I looked at him, hoping to catch his eye. I didn't. He just walked into the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. I got up and walked over to him. I could feel Tony's and Natasha's eyes on me as I padded into the kitchen.

"Erm, Steve?" I questioned softly, my stomach fluttering. His head snapped up and he gave me a sad smile.

"Yes?" I got a glass down for myself, but instead I went to the refrigerator to get some apple juice. I like apple juice. But. Anyways.

"I was wondering, could-could you still show me my room?" I said, grinning at him. It got a smile out of him.

"Yeah, yeah, of course." He grabbed his glass and I grabbed mine, and I followed him down the hall to the room he said was mine. He opened the door and let me go in first. He's so polite, better than all the pigs who've been hitting me all damn day. I waited until he was in my room, and I shut the door behind him.

"So, this is it?" I said, walking around and looking around the room. The queen size bed was to the left of the door, crisp white sheets and dark purple bedding covering it. There was a touch lamp on the dark wooden nightstand next to it, two drawers in it. Across from the bed was a dresser of the same make as the nightstand. I pulled open the drawers and I found all my clothes in it. Towards the back of the room was a closet, full of more of my clothes. There was another door next to the closet, and I opened it to see my own bathroom. There was a toilet, and sink, and mirror, and a shower. I could see my favourite shampoos and soaps in there. This place was...awesome. There was a door across from that, next to the dresser. I pointed at it. "What's this to?" I asked Steve, who was watching me intently. _He looked so good in those basketball shorts. Wait, Clint, what are you saying? Think about girls, boobs, that's what you like, not guys, not dick. Especially not Steve's, even though you can cleary see the outline in his shorts...Oh God, Clint, STOP, _I thought.

"Clint?" I snapped out of it.

"What?"

"You kinda zoned out..."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's alright. That door though. It goes to my room. We have conjoined rooms, I hope that's alright..." he trailed off, looking down. He was sitting on my bed, his blonde hair parted perfectly. I shuffled closer to him, sitting next to him. I rested my hand on his and he blushed. _Clint, stop!_ A voice in the back of my mind said. I pushed it aside and went with my instinct.

"It's more than alright," I said, smiling and rubbing his hand with my thumb. He smiled back.

"How do you like it here, so far?"

"It's pretty good. I want to kill Stark though."

"Join the club." We laughed and our eyes met.

"Tell me a secret, Steve," I whispered. He broke the gaze and and lowered his eyes.

"Promise you won't get mad?" He murmured, looking at me again.

"Of course."

"I'm..homosexual," he said, ashamed. I smiled. So he _is_ gay, I thought to myself. But...I'm not, of course.

"That's okay. I have no problem with it," I said, smiling reassuringly. He instantly smiled, all fear of me shunning him gone.

"Okay. Now you tell me a secret." I dropped my hand from on top of his and tensed up.

"D-Do I have to?"

"Yes."

* * *

***Steve's POV***

* * *

"But.." I touched his face gently.

"Please?"

"Well...what kind of secret? I-I have alot..."

"I could tell. What about you childhood?" He instantly froze.

"No. Anything but that."

"Clint-"

"NO NO NO NO NO I DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME!" He yelled, shaking and backing away from me. He fell on the floor and scooted away. What happened in the pool room was happening again. I'm just glad the rooms are soundproof.

"Clint, it's okay, it's me, Steve. Tell me who you don't want touching you." He got a distant look in his eyes and starting rocking back and forth, his knees to his chest and his arms around his legs. I crawled over to him and rubbed his back gently. "Tell me, Clint, it'll be okay." He started to cry and I knew he was going to tell me soon.

"I was seven. It was a year after my dad died, this guy my mom used to date had been back into her life, his name was Gus. On the day that was supposed to be my mom and dad's ninth anniversary they got married. I hated him. He used to get drunk all the time and hit me. And it got worse when they got married, he moved in with us. I would wake up in the middle of the night and he'd be in my room, he wouldn't have a shirt on. His belt would be unbuckled and his pants unbuttoned.

"He'd wake me up, and he'd tell me to do these things I had no idea what they were. He told me to touch him. He told me not to make a sound while he touched me, or he'd hurt me. He'd make me put it in my mouth, I was seven, I was terrified. I had no idea what I did wrong. If I gagged or choked or threw up, he'd hit me. Sometimes he purposely made me puke, just to have the satisfaction. He did this until I ran away. He'd torture me. He'd make me swallow it, he'd hurt me so bad.

"My mother didn't believe it; she didn't believe any of it. She thought I was making it up because she remarried him and he wasn't my dad. I was fucking seven, and he was molesting me. He used me. He...he forced me to do things a seven year old boy should never do. Then when I turned nine, he raped me. He made me get on my hands and knees and he gagged me. He raped me. It hurt. it tore me apart. He made me bleed.

"He'd throw me down the stairs when he got mad, he'd beat my with this stick he had. If I showed it hurt, he'd do it more. I became numb. I was a numb, cold nine year old. My only escape was archery. After school everyday I'd run to the forest behind my house and shoot these targets I had set up. Each day my goal was to get closer and closer to the center. And each day I achieved that goal. For my real dad.

"When I turned ten, I found a new escape. I took my arrow one day and poked my finger with it, to see how sharp it was. It drew blood, and the pain was excruciating, but it helped. I put the tip to my wrist and drug it across, over and over and over and over and over again. It bled so much, it hurt so bad, but it made the pain from Gus go away. He always told me I was nothing and he was punishing me for being such a bad boy. I never knew what I did, I still don't know. I was ten years old and cutting myself because I thought that was the only thing to do. I thought no one cared. No one at school asked me why I walked funny, or why I had a black eye, or why my cheek was bruised, or why my wrist looked like it was attacked by a bobcat.

"No one cared. No one did then, no one does now. The best part about Gus? He was the one that killed my dad. He never got over my mom, and wanted to do anything to be with her. He murdered my dad. And one night when he was raping me, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, _"You know what pretty boy? I'm gonna do the same to you that I did to your father one of these days. I'll kill you. It'll just be me and your mom, we'll start over, the life she was meant to have. You're nothing but a fuckup._" He finished and threw me against the wall and made my nose bleed. I lived in constant fear.

"The day I ran away, it was 5:00 in the morning, and Gus was passed out drunk on the couch. I drew my arrow and shot him in the chest. I was sixteen. I pulled the bow out of his chest, cleaned it, and whispered, _"That's for my father, you insane fuck of a monster._" I left a note for my mother and ran. I lived in the forest for a year until the CIA found me."

I held him as he continued to rock back and forth and sob. I let his tears soak my shirt and I heard a knock at the door.

_"Mr. Rogers, Ms. Romanoff is at the door, shall I let her in?"_

"No, Jarvis. Tell her we're busy."

"Of course sir." He clung to me like it was the end of the world. No wonder about his wrists. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Please, don't let him hurt me, please."

"I won't, Clint, I promise."


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay. It's Chapter Five. I feel like no one is reading this, I feel like no one likes it. Lol. I have no reviews. Reviews would be lovely .-.  
But seriously. I need to know what you guys thought of Chapter Four. I worked really hard on it, and I feel unappreciated. ;-;  
I'm needy. xD  
Anywaayyyssss.  
Chapter Five. Enjoy.**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :))))**

* * *

***Natasha's POV***

I paced in the hallway outside Agent Barton's room, nervousness and jealously and anxiety and fear and curiosity coursing through my veins. I couldn't help but think that Steve was with Clint. I didn't want that, it hurt to think that. I stopped pacing and knocked on the door again.

_"Ms. Romanoff, Mr. Rogers requested that you come back later. He says that he is busy with Agent Barton."_ My heart stopped and I straightened my back.

"Okay. Thank you Jarvis." I walked swiftly into my room, slamming the door. I flopped onto my bed and sighed, clenching my fists. I really hope that Steve isn't with Clint. Did Clint even say he's not gay..? I mean, we all know Steve is, he made that clear the day we caught him in women's clothes, because it's not illegal now like it was in the 1940's. He was happy he could be himself now. I was worried, though. Were they kissing? Fooling around? Even having sex? i hope not. I want Clint to be mine. I need to talk to him, make a move. Since when am I shy...

_"Ms. Romanoff, Mr. Rogers is at your door. Shall I let him in?"_ I stood up and rubbed my face.

"Yes, Jarvis, thank you." She turned her back to look out the window and she heard her door click open then shut.

"Tasha. What did you want?" I whipped around. I couldn't sense sex, or, anything for that matter. But he had no shirt on..

"I wanted to talk to Clint," I said, crossing my arms. "I wanted to give him a proper meeting." Steve rubbed his eyes and sighed.

"Well, he was a little busy." I took a step closer.

"Doing what?" I asked suspiciously. He rolled his eyes.

"You're just as jealous as Tony. We were talking." I eyed him and uncrossed my arms. I took another step closer.

"Is Clint gay?" I asked. His jaw dropped at my bluntness but he shook his head.

"No. He told Cooke today that he's not into guys."

"Well, maybe he only said it so Cooke would leave him alone..." I said, messing with my finger nails.

"I don't think he is.." Steve said, trailing off, dropping his gaze. I could sense sadness. Steve liked him...

* * *

***Tony's POV***

* * *

Steve is irritating. Why does he get to have Clint? He always gets the good guys. I mean, I always get them too, but, they stay with him. And they want to stay. And he wants to stay. Why the hell can't I be Steve?

_"Do I sense jealousy, Mr. Stark?"_ Jarvis said, monitoring my emotions.

"Go away Jarvis." I sighed and walked to my room, across from Tasha's. I wonder what she's doing. I knocked on the door. "Jarvis, tell Tasha I wanna talk to her."

_"Right away sir."_ Just then, Coulson waltz right into our...well, our house.

"Agents. We have a mission. Get the others." I groaned and walked to get Bruce and Thor. I know Jarvis told Tasha and Steve already.

"I'll get Clint," I heard Steve say.

"Of course you will," I said in a mock tone under my breath. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Steve knocked on Clint's door and entered, shutting it behind him. Jealousy pulsed through my veins and I hastily walked out the door. I headed to my lab to suit up, not waiting for anyone else. Once I suited up I left, the others could catch up. I was angry. Very angry.

* * *

***Steve's POV***

* * *

After what Clint told me, I couldn't help but feel horrible. I wanted to cry, hug him, hold him and never let go. No one deserves that. I walked into his room to see him still sitting on the floor.

"Clint, we have a mission." He looked up. I held out my hand so he could grab it and stand.

"Captain, how'd you know my favourite colour is purple?" I smiled as he grabbed my hand and I helped him up.

"I put your clothes away. Seeing as the majority of them were purple, I guessed. Plus your shirt today, and your quiver."

"You looked at my clothes?!"

"Well, I couldn't put them away with my eyes closed.."

"Did you...did you look at my underwear?" He asked me nervously, walking over to his closet.

"Well, I had to. But I wasn't like, _oh, look at these, they're so perfect_," I said in a mock girl voice. He smiled and reached into his closet.

"Well, that's okay then," he said, laughing and pulling out his costume.

"Now, if Tony was to put your stuff away, that's when you should've been worried. He would have probably taken a pair of your underwear and sniffed them," I giggled, walking over to the door conjoining our rooms. I opened it and walked into my room, hurrying to get my costume out of my closet. I looked in my mirror and saw Clint taking his shirt off. I couldn't help but stare as I took mine off, his nipples were hard. I watched as he kicked his shoes off and shimmied out of his jeans. He had on a pair of (yep, of course) purple boxer-briefs that hugged him perfectly. I shook my head and crossed over to the other side of my room, I felt like a pervert watching him. I quickly shed my basketball shorts and wiggled my way into my Captain America costume. As I put my red boots on I looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, watching me. His vest was black and purple, and he had on black cargo pants. His boots were black with buckles and he had he bow folded up in his hand, his new quiver on his back with all his enhanced arrows in it. He put on a pair of dark sunglasses and smirked as I pulled my gloves on and picked up my shield.

"You ready to go, Captain?" I grinned as we left our "house."

"More than ready."

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I followed Captain into the room where the rest of the Avengers were. It seemed we were the last ones.

"Captain, care to explain what took you two so long?" A man I knew was Fury asked, irritated. I felt my face tinge pink and I could see that his did too.

"Director, he was giving me a pep talk. I was nervous. First mission with The Avengers, you know," I said, defending us. He looked over at me shocked. Natasha and Tony both looked at us and rolled their eyes. Thor and Bruce just sighed.

"Alright, Avengers. There's a drug lord we need you to take down in Cuba. His name is Oscar Vargas, and he's been killing left and right to get his money. There's a death count of at least 20 so far. Civilians, children, and dealers. He even killed his own brother. Be there as soon as possible. Captain, you know what to do." We all stood and Steve, Natasha and I headed for a jet, Bruce and Thor headed for another. Tony was flying there in his suit.

"Tash, can you fly please?" Steve asked as we got on the jet.

"Yeah. I'll teach Clint, too." I looked in between them. I could sense tension. _Did...did they both like me?_ I wondered.

"O-Okay," I said, taking the copilot's seat while Steve sat in the back. I could...use this to my advantage...


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guise :3 So. Yeah. I don't describe the mission. Cos I'm WAY too lazy. xD But yeah.  
I wanna say thank you, to my six followers, and the one review I have. It means a lot to know I have that, even if it's not much. I appreciate it, guise, really. I promise it'll get better as we go along, I promise.  
Okay. Chapter Six. Here you go.  
Enjoy.**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :)))**

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I looked over at Tasha as she pressed all the buttons and pulled levers, preparing for take off. I watched intently, memorizing which buttons she hit and what levers she pulled and the order they were in.

"Tasha," I said, touching her hand. She blushed.

"Yes, Agent?"

"I got it." I could feel her eyes on me and she leaned back and watched as I used the controls like I've done this for years. She had an impressed look on her face and I smirked to myself. I got the plane off the ground with ease and just let us fly, making sure Tony was in front of us so I could follow him. Cause I had no idea where we were going..

"So, Clint." I looked over and saw Tasha with her arms crossed, smiling.

"Yes?"

"Tell me something about yourself." I smiled.

"I love purple." She snickered.

"I could tell. When Steve brought up all of your sheets and pillows and blankets and towels, I was like, Damn. He likes purple." I laughed along with her; she had a beautiful smile, and a beautiful face. I looked back to see Steve fumbling with his shield, looking distant.

"Well, what about you? Tell me something about you." She grinned wickedly.

"I could kill you as easily as 1, 2, 3." I smirked again.

"I could do the same to you, Tash." She smiled evilly.

"Wanna make a bet on that?"

"Damn straight. Even though I'll win."

"Nuh uh." I chuckled. Why am I so open with her, and so comfortable? Maybe it's because she's a girl...and I trust girls more than guys...I don't know. I like her though. She's nice.

_"Guys, Jarvis is gonna drive this cause Cuba is getting pretty close, and you guys need to get ready to jump,"_ we all heard Tony's voice come over the radio. I disliked him, so much.

"Alright Tony. It's all yours, Jarvis," Tasha said, hitting a bunch of controls. She stood and I stood with her, and we walked to the back. Steve was sitting on the bench, knees to his chest, humming to himself with his eyes closed.

"Aye, Captain. Get your 'chute on. We gotta jump on Tony's signal," Tasha ordered, helping me get my parachute on. Steve opened his eyes and rolled them.

"Okay." I eyed him carefully.

"You okay Cap? You've been awfully quiet this entire time.." I said, sitting next to him as Tasha tossed him his suit.

"Peachy." He answered curtly, shrugging into the 'chute. Tasha rolled her eyes and put hers on. I looked back and forth between them and I could sense tension and jealousy. I smiled inwardly. I liked this...a lot.

"Oh...okay than." I looked at Tasha and smiled and she smiled back.

"Okay guys. Time to jump," we heard Tony say, and the back door started to lower so we could jump. Tasha was showing me how to work the chute and Captain was staring off into space; well, the ground below us.

"I'll go first," Steve volunteered himself then jumped.

"I'm scared!" I yelled over the wind. Tasha smiled and rolled her eyes and the next thing I knew, I was being pushed out. I felt myself falling and I saw her falling about 10 feet above me. I waved to her and she waved back. I looked down to see Captain in a very...military like pose. He pulled his cord and I saw his parachute billow out. I took it as a cue to open mine, and I did. We floated down to the ground to see Tony, Bruce and Thor already there, waiting. Tony, Steve, and Tasha all exchanged hateful glances. I wonder if I was the only one to notice it...

* * *

***Third Person POV***

* * *

Steve and Tasha were flying the plane on the way back; The mission was a success. Clint was laying on the bench in the back, falling asleep. He fell out of a tree and broke his ankle. There was tension between the Captain and the Lady Assassin. Both of their minds were filled with thoughts of the Archer sleeping in the back.

"Tasha.."

"Steve."

"Do you like Clint?" Natasha stared forward and clenched up.

"Do you?" Steve tinged red, lowering his head.

"That's a yes for both of yes, I take it.."

"Yeah.." Steve mumbled.

"IF he is into guys, you'd better snatch him before Tony gets ahold of him."

"And you'd better get him before any other girl does, if he's straight." They both laughed an awkward, forced chuckle.

"Hey Tash, Steve, how's Barton doing?" Bruce's voice came through the radio.

"He's knocked out. Those painkillers really worked, huh Banner?" Steve said, glancing back at the sleeping archer, smiling at how peaceful he looked.

_"They're designed that way,"_ the scientist replied. _"So, Tony wants to go out for drinks after we get home and change. Something about celebrating Barton's first mission as a success."_ Natasha and Steve looked at each other and shrugged.

"I don't see why not," the assassin said, and Steve nodded in agreement.

"We're in," Steve said. "What about Clint?"

_"His leg should be better and he should be awake by the time we get home."_ Steve nodded.

"Well, we aren't that far. Should only be about five more minutes," Natasha said, pushing a few buttons. Steve stood.

"I'm going to wake Clint up," he said, walking over to the small boy sleeping on the bench. His boots were off and the boy's ankle was swollen and purple. At least it's his favourite colour, Steve thought to himself, chuckling.

He shook the small boy gently, sitting near his head.

"Clint, wake up. Almost there. Going to go celebrate when we get back." Clint shifted in his "bed" and murmured something. Steve shook him again, a little harder this time.

"I'un wan ge'up, Cap'n," he murmured, setting his head on the hero's lap and nuzzling his leg. Steve blushed. _Not now, Steve, this is not the time to have this happen. Think dead cat. Think naked grandmas._

"You gotta get up, buddy," Steve said, gently rubbing his hair. Natasha looked back with an evil look on her face. At this point, she hated Steve. She wanted Clint, and Hell's gonna freeze over before she doesn't get what she wants.

* * *

***Clint's POV; Back at the tower***

* * *

Steve had his arm around my waist and was helping me walk; I was still a little drowsy and my ankle was still a dark shade of purple. I looked at Tasha, who was giving Steve a death stare, and Tony, who had his arms crossed and a jealous look in his eyes. I tinted pink and waited for Steve to set me on my bed and shut the door. He set my boots in the closet neatly and got out the hangers for my costume. I unzipped my vest and exposed my black wife beater tank top. I shrugged out of the vest and tried to stand. It hurt, but I managed. I unbuckled my belt, completely having forgotten that the Captain was still in my room. I unbuttoned the black cargos and slid them down just past my butt, and sat back down. I glanced over to see Steve staring at me. I shed myself of the tank top and smirked. I could feel my nipples get and and goosebumps cover my body when the cold air hit my chest. I pulled the pants the rest of the way down my legs and stood back up. I walked over to my dresser, which just so happened to be where Steve was standing. He blushed as I opened one of my drawers, searching for my black sweatpants. Once I found them, I sat back on the bed and put them on.

"Steve, could you get in my top right drawer and get out a v-neck?" I asked nicely. The flustered hero nodded and pulled a shirt out, holding it up for me to examine. I nodded and held my hand out. He brought it over to me but I didn't take it yet. I patted the bed next to me.

"Sit," I said. He complied.

"Okay.." He sat next to me, and I leaned back on my arms, not putting the shirt that was sitting across my lap on yet. I could feel him staring at me.

"Like what you see?" I whispered roughly, knowing damn well he did. But the Captain shook his head and stood.

"Get dressed. Why are you okay with me being in here, knowing I'm gay? You're perfectly okay with me watching you change, watching you get practically naked, when I know you know I'm into you? Most guys would freak out." I smiled and pulled the shirt on.

"Well, I'm not most guys, am I?" I said, winking. "Go get changed. We've got some drinking to do." Steve smiled and went into his room to change, and I glanced into my mirror and watched..


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guise ! I'm soooo sorry I haven't updated, I've been at my friend Heather's house since Monday :o  
SPRING BREAK BITCHEESSSSS.  
****Okay but no. It gets kinda, slashy in this one.  
I'm soooo terribly sorry I didn't update, I'll be updating in the next few days with some really awesome stuff, I promise. **

**Josh- I LOVED your review. It meant a lot that you took the time to write all that and help. And I get what you're saying with the whole leave Clint and Tasha friends, but, if I did that, it wouldn't be angsty ;3 But, it'll happen eventually. I wanna torture them for a bit. **

**Okay, Chapter Seven. I hope you like it. And the movie they watch is Scary Movie, not A scary movie, yano?**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :))))**

* * *

***Third Person POV***

* * *

"There you guys are, come on, come get a drink. What's your poison Barton," Tony asked, pulling out a glass. Everyone else already had their drinks. Clint looked at Tony and thought.

"Gimme a rum and coke, my good man," Clint said, smiling and sitting down at the bar. Steve took a seat next to him, being protective.

"What about you, Stevie?" Clint asked, nudging the captain. Steve smiled an shook his head as the archer took another sip of his mixture.

"Super soldier serum doesn't let me get drunk. So I don't drink."  
Clint downed the rest of his drink and motioned for Tony to make him another.

"Come on, Steviee," Clint said, downing (already) his third drink. He was already tipsy, he couldn't handle his liquor.

"Tony, gimme a beer," Steve said, holding out his hand. Tony slid the beer into his hand and the soldier easily opened it. He looked over to see that the archer had left and went to the couch, bouncing on it. He had a tall glass in his hand, and orangish liquid in it. He took a dainty sip of it and plopped down next to Natasha. She smiled and looked at him as he sang goofily. The boy couldn't handle his alcohol to save his life.

"Hey guys, let's watch a movie!" Clint said, jumping up. "Can we Stevie, pleasie pleasie can we?!" The usually quiet boy jumped up and stood in front of Steve, who was making his way into the living room.  
Clint looked up at him and gave him puppy-dog eyes.

"Sure, why not. Are you guys okay with it?" Everyone agreed to it.

"What kind of movie, Clint?"

"Scary movie!" He yelled, and downed the rest of his drink. He stood in front of Natasha and tried to twerk the air, but really just looked stupid. "Id make a good stripper, huh Tasha?" she giggled and pushed him, making him fall on his face.

"No, darling, sorry," she said, laughing even harder.

"Floor, you're so soft. Let's get married," Clint said, stroking the floor. Thor and Bruce started giggling as well, and Tony and Steve eventually joined. EVeryone kept drinking, and Pretty soon they were all up to their limits with alcohol (except Steve of course), and laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.

"Can we watch the movie now?" Clint pouted, looking at Steve. He nodded and stood.

"Scary movie?"

"Yeeeeeee!" Steve smiled and rolled his eyes and picked out a movie. "Tonyyyy, make pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-corn!" Tony smirked and walked into the kitchen to put popcorn into the microwave. Clint grabbed Steve's hand after he put the movie in.

"Clint?"

"Sit by me, captain," the boy said, pulling Steve over to the secluded love seat on the far end of the living room.

"Jarvis, the lights," Tony said, coming back with popcorn. He tossed the bowl frisbee style expertly to Clint, who caught it with surprising coordination. Jarvis lowered the lights and played the movie as the others settled down. Clint dug his hand into the popcorn and took a handful, shoving it into his mouth. He licked his fingers, sucking the salt and butter off of each one. Steve stared at him as he stuck another finger in his mouth, licking it. Clint put the bowl down and picked up his glass. _'Where does he keep getting drinks from?_' Steve thought. Clint chugged it and leaned back, then changed his mind and cuddled up against Steve. Steve awkwardly put his arm around Clint's shoulder, and the shorter man snuggled closer.

"You smell tasty," he whispered to Steve, inhaling the mans cologne. Steve blushed and thanked him. Thank god the others were paying too much attention to the movie to notice Clint. The smaller man started to bite at the captains side.

"What are you doing, Clint?!" Steve said, pushing Clint's head up.

"You smell good enough to eat..." and he stuck his hand up Steve's shirt. "And to play with..." he withdrew his hand from the shirt and placed it on the growing bulge in Steve's pants. Steve closed his eyes and held back a gasp, grabbing Clint's hand.

"Clint, stop, you're drunk."

"And you're sexy."

"You aren't gay." Clint scoffed and sat up on his knees, scooting close enough to the captain that he could whisper in his ear.

"How are you sure of this, soldier?" Clint whispered seductively, nipping Steve's earlobe. Steve squeezed his eyes shut and squeaked as Clint grabbed his hand. He placed the hand onto his clothed erection, groaning slightly at the contact. Steve looked around to make sure the others weren't watching; they were all passed out. Clint climbed on top of him, his knees on either side of the captains hips.

"Clint-"

"Stop, please. Captain, I'm gayer than gay, if you muuuuust know. I love looking at you, you're so goddamn sexy," Clint murmured into his neck, then biting.

"But you're drunk."

"Please captain-"

"No. I'm taking you to your room." He picked Clint up with ease and carried them to his room. He placed him on his bed and turned to leave. Clint grabbed his arm.

"Then at least stay with me.."

"I'm going to tell the others to get to bed."

"But you'll be back, right?" Clint crawled to the corner of the bed closest to Steve and sat like a cat. He had puppy dog eyes again.

"I promise." Steve shut the door. He went to the living room and shook the others awake, sending them to their rooms. He picked up all the empty glasses, and the popcorn bowl and walked into the kitchen, depositing everything into the sink. He was like everyone's mom.

* * *

***Clints Room; Still Third Person***

* * *

Clint stripped himself of his shirt and sweats, lying on his bed in just his boxers, palming himself through his boxer briefs. He moaned as he rubbed his ballsack gently. Steve opened the door conjoining their rooms and was taken aback by what he saw. Clint realized what happened and grinned, but didn't stop.

"Come sit with me, my big strong Stevie." The captain, usually having self control, was entranced by him. He slowly padded over to the bed and stood at the end of it.

"H-Hi," he whispered, feeling like such a pervert but not wanting to look away. Clint stopped and stood on his knees, his member straining against the underwear. He made his way over to the captain, the bed being tall so he was about the same height as Steve.

"Clint, we can't-" a pair of soft, moist lips cut him off, and he melted into the kiss. Clint fell back on the bed and pulled Steve on top of him, moaning into his mouth as their erections rubbed together.

"Fuck, captain, just like that, you're definitely a super soldier.." Clint sighed as Steve sucked on his neck and massaged his thighs. Clint pulled him up and they stared at each other, face to face.

"Youre eyes are beautiful, Clint.." Steve leaned in and kissed him, gently. Their lips began to move with each others and Clint moaned when the captain bit his lip with just enough pressure that it sent tingles through the archers body. His back arched into Steve's chest and held onto his shoulders.

"Fuck me Captain, please," he growled, his eyes dark. Steve shook his head.

"No. You're drunk."

"Doesnt matter I wanna feel good, pleasie Stevie please me," he groaned in between rough sloppy kisses. Steve pinned his wrists down and looked him in the eyes.

"No, Clint. I feel bad enough. I feel like I'm taking advantage of you." Clint scoffed and rolled his hips into Steve's. The soldiers eyes rolled into the back of his head as Clint did it again, fascinated by Steve's loss of control.

"Obviously you like it, big boy" he whispered through clenched teeth.

"Clint, I said no!" He got off of him forcefully. He stood at the end of his bed and grabbed his shirt. Clint looked like he was about to cry.

"You...you don't like me?" He whimpered, tears welling in his eyes.  
Steve immediately felt bad and walked over to him.

"Clint, no, I like you..a lot. I don't want to rush things, or do something we might regret." Clint pulled him down into the bed and climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.

"Then at least stay here. With me. Please?" He begged, kissing Steve's neck. Steve sighed.

"Alright, I'll stay." Clint smiled and clapped.

"Yay! No more sad Hawkeye!" He plopped down next to where Steve was laying, sitting cross-legged and playing with the captains bellybutton. Steve smiled as Clint pulled his shirt back off to expose his muscles and body and perfection.

"What are you doing, Clint?" he asked as the archer ghosted his fingers across his chest, giving the bigger man goosebumps.

"Exploring," he murmured, travelling lower. He danced his fingers up Steve's sides, then back down. He hooked his fingers into the jogging pants Steve was wearing and was stopped by Steve's hand on his wrist.

"Come lay down, Clint."

"But I want you to be like me," he said, pulling the pants off by the legs.

"And how would that be?"

"Almost naked, silly willy," he giggled, crawling back up his body. He laid on top of Steve and pulled the covers over the duo.

"Jarvis. Lights please," Steve said, cuddling with Clint.

"Certainly sir." The captain heard soft snoring from the small man and smiled to himself. He felt bad, he felt he took advantage of Clint. But he was happy of how the night ended. How well was it going to go in the morning...


	8. Chapter 8

**Hai guise. It's Courtney. Sorry for the late update, my sister got rid of her laptop so I couldn't write, and I've been over at her house for the past two or three days. I hope you liked last chapter ? This one is kinda angsty. And a warning. Self harm in this chapter. If that's not your cup of tea...I suggest you go get some coffee, cos it's gonna happen.  
****BUT NO. My brain is all like, "Angst is good, angst is so damn good, you need to make Hawkeye kill himself, right now." And I wrote it out. I wrote out Hawkeye killing himself. Then I cried. And ate oreos. I'm a horrible person. My fanfics like to take on minds of their own, and they go in directions where they were never meant to go.  
****But I put all the angstiest songs I know onto one playlist on my phone, and just let them play as I wrote. So I hope this chapter is full of emotion.  
I don't own the Avengers, but if I did, I'd make them do unspeakable things to each other...*evil laugh* I _do_however, own Todd and Gus. We'll be hearing more about Todd in the later chapters.  
Don't forget to review guise, come on.  
****Well, here you guise goooo :3**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :)))))**

* * *

***Captain's POV***

* * *

I slowly opened my eyes, feeling a weight on my chest. I looked down to see that Clint hadn't moved. I smiled and tried to slip out form underneath him, and I felt his grip around me tighten.

"No, don't leave me..you won't come back," he mumbled, nuzzling my chest. I watched as his chest rose and fell as he breathed softly, snoring slightly. I smiled and kissed his forehead. He opened his eyes slowly and looked up at me.

"Good morning, Clint," I said, smiling. He smiled sweetly, then his eyes shot wide open and he jumped off of me.

"Wh-What did you do to me?" He said, cowering in the corner, holding a blanket over himself. I stood and walked over to him, picking up my jogging pants on the way.

"Clint, we didn't do anything, I promise-"

"Liar!" He screamed, tears welling in his eyes.

"Clint, let me explain what happened." I inched closer to him, sticking my hand out.

"NO!"

"Clint, please, I promise I didn't hurt you!" I shouted, tears welling in my eyes as I walked closer to him.

"NO! Get away from me!" He yelled, kicking me. I stumbled a bit and nodded.

"Alright. I'll see you later Agent Barton," I mumbled, my voice cracking as I tried not to cry. I walked into my room and shut the door. I took a shaky breath and sat on my bed. I can't believe he thinks I did something to him. I felt my heart break knowing that what happened last night was probably never going to happen again. I felt tears in my eyes. I wiped my eyes free of tears. _Head up, soldier. Head up, shoulders back, march on._ I stood and walked to my bathroom, stripping of my clothes. I turned the shower on cold and stepped in, feeling the cold water rush over my skin sent goosebumps through my body. I closed my eyes and sighed sadly. It hurt so bad.

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I sobbed, huddled on the floor in my blanket. I couldn't remember what happened last night, and that scared me. All I know is that something happened with the Captain, or else I wouldn't have been in bed with him, almost naked. He wouldn't take advantage of me, would he? The Captain isn't like that, he's a pure gentleman...but then again, that's what I thought about Todd...I sobbed harder at the thought of him and curled into a ball, the thoughts of Gus and Todd hurting me flooded my mind. I shook violently as I stood, walking over to my closet. I reached into my quiver and pulled out the one arrow I'd never shoot, the one that wasn't apart of my newly modified arrows and tips; the arrow my dad gave me. I touched the tip to make sure it was still sharp. It was. I put it to my wrist, cutting slowly. I dropped the arrow, realizing what I did. I looked at my wrist, watching it bleed. My breath caught in my throat as I ran to my bathroom and hunched over the toilet, dry-heaving. I placed the wrist over the toilet, letting the blood drip into the toilet. I sobbed, grabbing toilet paper by the handful and ripping it to cover my bleeding wrist. I applied pressure and waited until I was sure the bleeding had stopped. I let the bloody paper fall into the toilet and I flushed it. I stripped of my underwear and turned the shower on, stepping into it and letting the hot water run through me. I started to cry again, the salty water running into my mouth with a mixture of the pure shower water. I sobbed into my hands, my eyes getting blurry. I sat on the floor, letting the heat surround me. I hiccuped and stood, my back and shoulders turning red from the scalding water. I didn't care anymore. I quickly lathered and rinsed my hair, doing the same to my body, being mindful of my wrist. I turned the water off, and stepping out into the cool air of the bathroom, I felt a presence in my room. I wrapped a towel around my waist and walked out of the bathroom to see Natasha sitting there on my bed, wearing a pair of short running shorts and a tank top.

"What are you doing here," I mumbled, looking around in my drawer for a pair of purple underwear. I found the desired ones, then padded back into the bathroom.

"What happened with you and Steve," she called, and I froze in my tracks. "He's in his room, lying in bed, under the covers, crying." I pulled the underwear on then walked back into my room. I went to my closet to get a black long-sleeved shirt. I pulled it over my head, and made sure the sleeves covered my wrists. I walked back over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans and slipped them on.

"What do you mean what happened."

"I mean, why is he in his bed crying, and why were you just in the shower crying your eyes out." I shrugged.

"Cause we want to." She rolled her eyes.

"I can just have Jarvis play me the security feed, Clint," she said, pulling me to sit down next to her. "Tell me what happened."

"I don't know. I don't remember anything from last night. But I woke up in bed with him this morning, almost completely naked. We both were in our underwear, and I was laying on top of him and he had his arms around me. I may have panicked a bit..and accused him of doing something to me. Taking advantage?"

"Steve wouldn't do that. He's too much of a gentleman. He's a 1940's man. He has more manners than he needs." I shrugged and felt bad. He really likes me..

"Tash, do you like me?" The assassin blushed.

"Maybe. But. I am not interested in a relationship right now, much less one with a fellow agent. And, I know you're gay." I was shocked. I tried to deny it.

"I-I'm not gay, Tash-"

"Oh, bullshit. I see the way you look at Steve, the way you care about him, the way you follow him around. The way you looked at him when he carried you back to the airship after you fell out of the tree. Your eyes sparkled." I could sense hurt in her voice.

"Tasha-"

"Just...let Steve explain what happened, so you two can be happy together," she said bitterly, then stood and hastily walked out. I put my head in my hands, a frustrated sigh escaping my lips. I got on my feet and walked over to the door conjoining our rooms. I hesitated a moment. _What if he hates you now. I don't want that. Clint, you'll never know if you don't knock._

I decided to knock, once, twice, three times. I heard him call raspily, "Who is it?"

"Clint," I called back. I waited a moment, then I heard the shuffle of feet on the floor. The door clicked open and I saw the Captain, eyes bloodshot and puffy, cheeks red.

"What."

"What happened last night?"

"Doesn't matter. You think I hurt you. You'll think I'm lying." He turned to shut the door but I grabbed his arm. He had so much hurt in his voice.

"I'm sorry for accusing you of that. But given my past, it's kind of expected that I'd freak out waking up in bed, almost naked, with another guy." He turned back to face me.

"You got drunk, started to mess with me. I carried you to your room and put the others to bed. When I came back you were..." he hesitated a minute. _Oh god, what did I do?!_ "You were..rubbing yourself through your boxer-briefs. You didn't stop when I walked back in. You stood on your knees and kissed me. We kissed. A lot. I sucked on your neck and gave you a hickey. You told me to fuck you, but I wouldn't. You were drunk, and I don't know if you're serious about me. I went to leave and you started to cry. I stayed and you started to like..play with my bellybutton, and you "explored" my body, in your words. You made me take my pants off so I'd be like you, then you cuddled with me and we fell asleep. That's exactly what happened," Steve said, his voice cracking. I sighed, touching my neck. I looked in the mirror behind him in his room, seeing the dark hickey on my neck. How had I not noticed that before..

"Steve, I'm sorry, for accusing you of that. Honestly. I know you would have never done that..you're too nice." He nodded curtly and went to shut the door. "Wait, Captain."

"What."

"I was going to go to Starbucks for a coffee..would you like to join me?" I looked at him with a hopeful look.

"No." He shut the door in my face. I stared slack-jawed at the slab of wood in front of my face and blinked slowly. _Did he just tell me no, after making out with me, and giving me this hickey?!_ I walked to my closet, grabbing my leather jacket and my boots. I picked a pair of gray socks out of my drawer and put them on, the boots were soon to follow. I hastily threw the jacket on and walked out of my room, as quickly as I could. I knocked on Natasha's door and waited for her to open it.

"Tasha. Would you like to go to Starbuck's with me?" I smiled sultrily, taking her hand. She grinned.

"I would love too." I saw the Captain out of the corner of my eye, peeking out of his bedroom door. I grinned and squeezed her hand as we walked out of Stark's Top Floor.


	9. Chapter 9

**OMG GUISE I'M SO SORRY I'VE BEEN LATE ON UPDATING.  
I've been really really sick. Like. I can barely breathe as I write this.  
I wish I could've updated sooner, honestly. I feel horrible.  
But, here's chapter nine. Enjoy :)**

**Okay, I re-wrote it, and finished it, cos I realized I uploaded it, and It wasn't finished. I was half-asleep and really tired when I wrote it last night ;-;  
So, here's the re-written and finished one. **

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :))))**

* * *

***Steve's POV***

* * *

I sat on my bed, putting my head in my hands. Having a crush on someone on your team is so frustrating. It gets awkward when you see each other, you end up doing something embarrassing, you can't focus on anything, you can't focus on work, you're too worried about keeping that person safe on missions. It's just..bad. I sighed. I couldn't believe Natasha would agree to go on that date with him, it hurts. I can't believe she'd do that, knowing I like that. I would never do that to her, or anyone. Ever. And she knows that.

But then again, I don't think Barton knows what he wants either. One moment, he was on top of me, telling me to...do things. The next, he was screaming at me. Then the next, he was asking me to go on a date with him. And now, he's on that damn date with Tasha.

I wanted to go spy on them, and honestly, I almost did. But I couldn't disrespect Tasha's privacy like that. It's not right. I'm not that type of person. I just couldn't do it, even if I wanted to.

I wish I didn't like him. Dating a teammate is bad, really bad. I need to stay away from him. I have got to get my emotions under control. _Head up, soldier._ I didn't know what he wanted. And I didn't want to get hurt. I decided to avoid him, at all costs..

I walked into the kitchen to see Bruce and Thor eating lunch. Jeez, it's lunch already? I could see Bruce looking at me, and I knew my eye were red and bloodshot, and my nose was puffy. I coughed and walked to the refrigerator.

"Steve, my good man! How are you doing, friend?" Thor asked, walking over and slapping me on the back as he put his plate in the sink. I pulled out a glass for my apple juice and forced a smile.

"Tired. Yourself?" I mumbled, pouring the juice and taking a seat next to Bruce.

"I am wonderful!" I looked at Bruce questioningly. He shook his head and mouthed, "I'll explain later." I nodded and took a sip of my apple juice. I chuckled softly to myself as Thor skipped off to his room. I felt Bruce turn to me.

"What's wrong?" I shook my head and scoffed.

"A lot. But before I tell you anything...why the hell is Thor so happy?!" Bruce smiled and shook his head.

"I told him I had a surprise for him." I smiled,

"Which would be...?" Bruce grinned bigger.

"I'm taking him to get a kitten later today. But shh. He doesn't know that part yet," he said quietly, giggling. I smiled and took another drink. He got serious and looked at me. His hand landed on my arm. "Steve...what's going on?" I blinked away unwanted tears. My eyes were already burning.

"Me and Clint made out last night when he was drunk. He woke up this morning in bed with me, we were only wearing our underwear. He freaked out. I explained what happened though, after we both calmed down, and he apologized, He asked me to go to Starbucks with him. Like a date. I said no, and slammed the door in his face.." My voice cracked as I spoke and Bruce shook his head.

"Why'd you say no?"

"I don't know.."

"You do know."

"I know.."

"Tell me, Captain." I looked over at Bruce, who had a genuine look of concern on his face.

"I don't...I don't want to like him, for the simple fact that dating a teammate, or even liking them ends up being hell. I've lived through it more than once. If you do date, then break up, it gets almost too awkward and uncomfortable to bear." Bruce rubbed my arm gently.

"Clint really likes you. I can tell.I just think he's afraid as well, just of different reasons that I'm not aware of. But trust me, I don't want him with Tasha either." I rolled my eyes

"gosh, don't tell me you like him too?" Bruce laughed out loud.

"No. I like Tasha. A lot."

"Oh...so, you think Clint is using her to make me jealous?" Bruce nodded. "It's working.." I said quietly.

"I don't want him to have her. She deserves better."

"Oh, like you?" I said teasingly, and we both laughed.

"No, not like me. I'd get too mad, too fast, you know? I wouldn't want to accidentally hurt her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."I nodded and sighed.

"I do like him, I do. It's just...I don't want to be in a relationship with a teammate, that would cause problems by itself. A male teammate would make it even worse.

"Times have changed, Cap'n. It's perfectly fine to be out and proud," he said, standing and putting his plate in the sink. I sighed.

" I know, it's just...weird. I'm still getting used to it."

"Well, at least none of us are homophobic," Bruce said, chuckling. I scoffed.

"True," I sighed, rubbing my tired eyes.

"Just give it time. He'll realize what he wants eventually."

"But what if he's too late? What if I die on a mission or something?"

"Then maybe he'll realize what he let himself lose."

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I looked at Tasha sitting across from me, still wishing that Steve would've said yes. I wish I didn't flip shit on him earlier..

"Clint, what's going on in that brain of yours?" I sighed.

"Steve's mad at me. He hates me." She rolled her eyes.

"If you're so worried about Steve, why'd you ask me to come here?"

"To...To make him jealous.." I felt her eyes on me as she tried to figure me out.

"Why are you afraid?"

"I-I'm not-"

"You are. You're afraid to be gay."

"No!"

"Yes, you are! You're hurting yourself, Clint! That's right, I saw when you got of the shower. You hurt Steve, Clint. You just...you just hurt me..I thought you liked me.."

"I do like you Tash."

"Not that same way I like you."

"Tasha-"

"No, Clint. Tell me why you're afraid to be with a guy.

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"I asked him to coffee, right? That counts for something. It's not my fault he said no."

"Clint, that's not what I mean, and you know that."

"Damn it, Tasha, why the hell does it matter to you?!"

"Because it _does._ Don't worry about why." I sighed and put my head in my arms on the table. "Clint, please-"

"Because _every_ fucking time I've liked a guy or fell for a guy, or gotten somewhat close to a guy, they've always hurt me in some way. Everytime I think I can trust a guy. They show me why I can't, why I shouldn't!"

"Clint, I-"

"I was raped by own own stepdad, Natasha. That's why I'm afraid. That's why I freaked out this morning. Waking up almost naked next to a guy you barely know, with no remembrance of the previous night? Wouldn't you be afraid if you had my past too?" I felt a tear slide down my face and I swiftly wiped it away.

"Clint, I...I'm so sorry...I don't even know what to say."

"Sorry for pushing?" She glared at me and I smiled in spite of myself.

"Not gonna happen, Barton," she teased. I laughed and drank my frappucino slowly, becoming lost in my thoughts.

"Why do you think he said no? I mean, he obviously likes me, in some way," I said after a few minutes silence. She sighed and looked conflicted, like she didn'y know what to do. Whether to tell me something or not.

"I don't know. Here's an idea; why don't **you** talk to him?" I made a disapproving noise. I was beginning to get frustrated with her.

"Because he's fucking acting like he doesn't wanna talk to me!"

"He does, Clint, trust me."

"Then why'd he slam the goddamn door in my face?" She looked like she had so much she wanted to tell me, but she wasn't allowed.

"I don't know Clint, okay?" I stood and threw my now empty cup away.

"Tasha. I have feelings for him, okay? Sorry if that upsets you, but, please, help me...I'm begging you.." She looked uncomfortable for a moment, then took a deep breath.

"He said he's afraid of getting hurt or used. He said because you seem like you won't want to be with him in anyway, or around him in any way without being drunk. He's scared of getting hurt by you because he's afraid you'll be uncomfortable around him." I felt like someone just dropped a two ton rock into my stomach. I felt horrible, like shit.

"Th-That's not true!"

"Is it?" I groaned.

"God, I'm an asshole." She nodded in agreement. "Let's go home. I wanna try and talk to him again.

"Clint, that's probably not a good idea...not yet, anyways..."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not..just trust me.." I grumbled to myself, irritated.

"Alright. I still wanna go home though.."

"Okay. Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

**Omg, guise, I'm so freaking sorry it's been so damn long. I got into a fight with this bitch at school and I got suspended, which meant no computer for ten days :( I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry for being able to update, and, I tried to make this at least an okay chapter, and i hope you don't mind that it's so short..I've got a serious case of writer's block, I'm surprised I came up with this pile of poop. I fought with this chapter soooo much about what I wanted to do with it, and this is the end result. We finally came to an agreement.  
Anyways. I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I do not own the Avengers...however, I do own Callie :3  
**

**Lots of Love,  
Courtney :)))))**

* * *

***Steve's POV***

* * *

I padded over to the couch to sit down, and curled into a ball. Bruce sat at the other end, flipping through a magazine about science. I closed my eyes as I heard him flick on the TV. I blinked away more tears. I hate crying. I hate it so much. I hate liking people. I hate liking boys at that. It just makes everything so much harder. I heard the door open and I opened my eyes to see Tony and Pepper. Tony waved and I nodded in his direction as he went to fix himself a drink. At least I don't have to worry about him messing with Clint anymore. Pepper's back into his life. I sighed and closed my eyes again, curling into an even smaller ball. I tried to block out the noise, and succeeded until I felt a weight sit next to me. I opened my eyes slowly to see Tony.

"Can I help you?" I asked, irritated.

"I just...I just wanna know if you're okay. You seem really sad and tired." I blinked back more tears. I didn't want Tony to see me cry.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Is it about Clint?" I lied, shaking my head.

"Tony, leave him alone, God. Why are you always in someone's business?" Pepper said, pulling him away from me.

"He's not okay, Pep!"

"I'm fine! I just…didn't sleep very well last night." He eyed me warily and I slowly stood. "Speaking of sleep, that's what I'm going to go do. I'll see you all later."

I walked sluggishly to my room, locking the door behind me. I let the tears fall again, falling directly onto my bed. _Why me,_ I thought. _Why Clint. Of all people. I just want to sleep. Forever. Freeze me again, I don't care. Anything is better than this right now._ I kicked off my jogging pants and boxers, and pulled my shirt over my head. I stalked into the bathroom and stepped into the bathtub, turning the hot water on. I let the tub fill up and I sank down into it, letting the warmth come over me. I didn't want to get out, it was so relaxing._ I wish…I wish, for just once, I could meet a good person, outside of S.H.I.E.L.D., and outside of my work that I do. For once in my life. Meet a nice guy, maybe his name is…Kyle…Kyle sounds like Clint…maybe his name is Clint…maybe he's an archer, has beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair…damn it, Captain, pull yourself together! You've got to meet someone outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. It's the best thing for you to do. You need to meet someone that _ISN'T_ Clint. Someone that _WON'T_ hurt you. Someone that won't completely screw with your emotions._ I sank down farther into the water, then going under completely. I felt the water burning my face but by this point I didn't care. I sighed.

_"Sir, Agent Banner is requesting that you unlock your door. He would like to speak to you_." I groaned.

"Tell him he'll have to wait until I get out of the bathtub."

"Will do, sir." I closed my eyes and laughed coldly, because I didn't know what else to do. So…Bruce likes Tasha…I like Clint…Tasha likes Clint…and who knows who Clint likes by this point. It's only been, what, two days? And already, this…well, there's no other way to put it…bullshit is happening. Pardon my French, but, geez. This is what we get for bringing in a new member…drama. What a lovely triangle…square…pentagon…whatever it is. It sucks. I want to be with Clint. I really do. But I don't want to get hurt, at all. I stood and grabbed a towel off of my sink, and wrapped it around my waist. I went out to my bedroom and threw on a clean pair of boxers, sweatpants, and a blue t-shirt. I opened my door to see Bruce standing there.

"Bruce what're you-" he shoved me into my room and locked the door.

"Shut up. I need to talk to you. It's urgent."

* * *

***Clint's POV***

* * *

I walked into the tower just in time to see Bruce pushing Steve into his room. I felt a surge of jealousy run through my body at the sight of this. Tony and Pepper looked at me questioningly as Tasha went to make herself a drink.

"Want anything, Clint?" She asked. I shook my head.

"I'll be in my room if you guys need anything." I padded off to my room, glaring at the Captain's door. Who knows what he and Bruce could be doing in there…anything, really. Bruce isn't an unattractive guy, you know? I dunno. Captain isn't mine, why am I worrying about what he does? He can do whatever he wants.

I walked into my room to see Thor on my bed, holding a calico kitten. She was adorable, and fluffy.

"Hello, Barton!" I smiled at the large man.

"Hi Thor. Whatcha got there?" He grinned broadly and held up the kitten.

"Isn't she beautiful? Banner bought her for me! Help me name her!" I smiled and rubbing the little thing's head, she's so soft. I smiled as she started to purr loudly, then began trying to play with my fingers.

"What about Sofie?" Thor made a face and shook his head.

"ALEXANDRIA." I laughed as the kitten hissed.

"What about…Callie? Because she's a calico cat?" He smiled and let me hold the kitten. She started to nip at my fingers and rub her head against my hand. She was beautiful. I glanced at the door to Steve's room and began to glare at it. I was wondering if I should go talk to him, or listen to what Tasha said and leave him alone for now. I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in his room with Bruce. Thor snapped his fingers in front of my face, and I blinked.

"Barton, are you okay?" I smiled.

"I'm fine, just thinking. So Callie it is?" The Asgardian smiled and nodded roughly. I grinned back and handed him the small kitten gently, and he took it, cradling it like a baby.

"I am going to go show Tony and Pepper and Natasha!"

"You go do that," I said, laughing as he walked quickly but carefully into the living room. All of a sudden, Jarvis came onto the speakers.

_"Attention Avengers. An urgent meeting has been called. Please be dressed and in the conference room in ten minutes._" I sighed and stood up, stripping and then getting dressed. I wonder what this could be about...as long as I don't have to be with the Captain again, I'll be okay.

* * *

**A/N: I have to come up with an idea for their meeting/possible mission, so, I'm leaving it a "cliffhanger." Besides, i'm tired as hell. Hahah.  
****Bye guise, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad ^-^**

**Lots Of Love,  
Courtney :))))**


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